...to audlthood. Rishi is growing up ...and fast. It is a bitter sweet feeling for me to watch him stride ahead. While I feel nostalgic that my little boy is growing up so fast, I feel pride in his growth.
Sunday, August 15th'10 marked a mini milestone. We had gone to Fred Meyer for some grocery shopping. Rishi wanted to buy a doughnut and I let him stand in the checkout line alone. I watched him as he patiently stood in line for his turn, with a doughnut in one hand and a dollar in the other. When it was his turn, he confidently handed the money to the cashier and came out with a big smile on his face.
The doughnut was only $0.85, but the feeling it evoked - PRICELESS!!
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Expecting validation != Insecurity.
Playing arm chair psychiatrist again.
I was wondering if seeking validation is being insecure. After giving it much thought, I came to the happy conclusion that it definitely is not - at least not when you want validation from some people. It hardly matters to me if everybody I interact with accepts me for who I am. At the same time - I can feel I need validation from some people close to me. Why did I need to be told that I was pretty? Why did I need to feel accepted? Why was I so confident with some and not so much with someone close to me? The combination of it all is summed up in one word…validation. But why did I need it?
...Because by validating someone we demonstrate that we care and that their feelings matter to us– in other words, that THEY matter to us. By “mirroring” some one’s feelings, we show them that we are in tune with them. We feel connected with them and they feel connected with us.Please don’t think that because a woman/person needs validation that they are insecure. I think at some point or another every one enjoys a little validation. I see validation as a small gift wrapped in a cute, little bow. When someone validates me, it makes me feel as if someone ‘gets’ me, ‘understands’ me; it also makes me feel as if I am not alone. It feels good to know that my actions, words and feelings make sense to another person. It’s easier to relax around someone and keep down guard when there is validation. With validation come an extreme sense of connection. I crave connection and I can’t seem to feel it without some sort of validation. Does this make me needy? I think not.
I was wondering if seeking validation is being insecure. After giving it much thought, I came to the happy conclusion that it definitely is not - at least not when you want validation from some people. It hardly matters to me if everybody I interact with accepts me for who I am. At the same time - I can feel I need validation from some people close to me. Why did I need to be told that I was pretty? Why did I need to feel accepted? Why was I so confident with some and not so much with someone close to me? The combination of it all is summed up in one word…validation. But why did I need it?
...Because by validating someone we demonstrate that we care and that their feelings matter to us– in other words, that THEY matter to us. By “mirroring” some one’s feelings, we show them that we are in tune with them. We feel connected with them and they feel connected with us.Please don’t think that because a woman/person needs validation that they are insecure. I think at some point or another every one enjoys a little validation. I see validation as a small gift wrapped in a cute, little bow. When someone validates me, it makes me feel as if someone ‘gets’ me, ‘understands’ me; it also makes me feel as if I am not alone. It feels good to know that my actions, words and feelings make sense to another person. It’s easier to relax around someone and keep down guard when there is validation. With validation come an extreme sense of connection. I crave connection and I can’t seem to feel it without some sort of validation. Does this make me needy? I think not.
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