A funny title but thats all that my confused mind can come up with right now.
To add a little (ok not so little) context, I started thinking about this from the conversations that I have with Rishi on a daily basis - yet another proof that all my thought process are now mostly governed by him. I keep telling him that he is the most important person in my life, I love him the 'mostest' and that he is my 'bestest' friend. There is no bigger truth than this.
But, if I think back, I must have thought the same way about a few other people also in some time of my life. What happened to them?
To start with, I know I must have had a 'blind' love and devotion for my parents like every kid in the world. I am referring to this as 'must have' because I don't really remember the love I felt for them as an infant or a toddler. But I must have. I must have thought that they are the most important people in my life, that I love them the 'mostest' and that they are my 'bestest' friend. Infact, I remember baba referring to me as his 'poraan'. Ma's whole world revolved around us.Did she think I was the most important part of her life too? What happened to that? Did they realise and felt the pangs when I gave them second place ? When did they take a step back and ceased being the most imporatnt people in my life?
Did this happen in my teens when I took great pleasure in exploring life with friends? I remember not without guilt the times when I sneaked to go to movies with my friends, the lies I said to get away with poor marks in a test or the times Didibhai and I wasted money on buying 'StarDust' and 'CineBlitz'. There was a time I literally felt that whatever I do, wear or say, is based on my friends's approval. They were very important people in my life then. When did they stop being an influence in my life?
Perhaps when the attention shifted to Sandip and the beautiful dreams we wove together. When I think back to this time, it seems like everything and everyone but he had ceased to exist at that time. Whatever he said consumed all my thoughts and was the driver of whatever I did. The magic lasted for about 2 years after marriage when, I started feeling the need of that someone special who is going to call me 'mom'. As soon as I got to know that we were expecting Rishi, the world started revolving around him.
Does this mean, that my love for everybody but Rishi has subsided or ceased? No, I can't agree to that. They are all there. I guess, they are all spread in different rungs of the love ladder. Its just that the occupants keep climbing up and down between the rungs, but they are all definitely there. And I thank the Lord everyday for that!!
